Everybody Deserves a Massage

I can't believe that it is July, let alone a week into it already (pretty much...)! Seeing that I celebrated my very first yearly anniversary with my husband, Michael early last month (June), it gave me a whole year to look back on with him at least, and notice how far we had made it since the day that we first accepted each other as husband and wife. Trust me, we have made it leaps and bounds! I am now pregnant, mere months away from my due date. If that doesn't suffice for the both of us enough, how close Michael is to graduating from BYU-I with the most stellar grades I have ever seen (I hope that our son inherits that can-do spirit from him, at least with how we both influence him) and enrolling into a Medical School to study to become a certified doctor...I'm ecstatic (for both of us, mainly him because I support him in whatever he does)! My can-do, go-to spirit, personality, and goals still aid me greatly so in realizing that it has been some time since I have made one of these posts, I will make one, along with my goal list today (writing, or typing things like this always have helped me and I don't think that will ever change) (and that is a good thing, at least I know myself!). I promise you, from my perspective currently, these lists will never end! I swear, as soon as I cross one thing off the old monthly goal list, I am adding two more things...not to say that is a bad thing (my calling in the church of being the ward choir director adds some of that extra initiative for some of my goals too). It's time to admit that I have always enjoyed being busy...and that isn't a bad thing (!), especially when it entails something that I am truly passionate about.

 1) Get out of the house/office for at least 30 minutes a day

I admit, sometimes it is especially hard to get myself up, off my couch (and massager) (guess where I am right now...), and out of my house/apartment, but this is a habit that I think we all need truthfully. With all the deliveries that are possible to make through Amazon, it is very possible that I never have to leave my house and it is very tempting to do just that too. Although, if you look a little deeper, there is evidence, at least in theory, that getting out of the house makes depression and anxiety feel better. The nudge of a voice is still there to force us to stay home, prompting us (or me at least) into thinking the outside world is boring and routine, except less safe and comfortable, causing one to forget all the good parts of the outside world. Sometimes, deception leads one into thinking that the comfort of the outside world is nonexistent and that it is always cozier and safer inside. Let me tell you. that trenchlike line of thinking ignores an important truth: that the outside world has a lot more to offer than home and that it is possible to find comfort outside of your 'comfort zone' (or whatever you may call it!). 

2) Identify one thing that drains you and cut it out of your life. Sometimes, these leeches are known as "energy vampires" and these negative influences (whether they be people or otherwise) are very capable of wreaking havoc on your special smooth-running life. Sadly, these bloodsuckers can be found all around us, the capability to spot them is needed in order to avoid them. I need to attain this capability in my life, in order to stop the relentless hunger for negativity around me, because it often leaves me drained, exhausted, and unhappy (and I don't even want to have to talk about the negative effect that has on the baby child growing in my belly). These negative people can wreak havoc on anyone's life if you don't have effective strategies to deal with them. Seeing where I am and the state that I personally am in in my life right now, I need not let their problems become mine so I need to learn to follow the steps to avoid them.--(1) Know one when you see one, (2) Limit your contact, (3) Don't get pulled in. I need to sharpen these skills because it is only too easy to fall away. I think I am not alone when I say that in the times that we live in, energy, especially positive energy, is a precious commodity. This commodity should not be given up when others try to steal it. Instead, to juxtapose their claim(s), keep a positive attitude and surround oneself with positive people that leave upbeat and energized feelings. As Helen Keller said, "Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow." 

3) Do something alone that you usually wouldn't.

Firstoff, I want to sustain that it is okay not to be okay. Sometimes, alone with my thoughts is the last place I want to be. We all have our good and bad days, and they aren't always periodic, which can be frustrating. None of us out there can be happy all the time, the thought is pleasant, but it also isn't human. Sometimes we are on top of the world, and the next, we can't be any lower. I don't know if I am speaking for myself, but I completely get it. Over a decade ago, my brain was damaged in a car wreck and parts of that injury still have an effect on me. Sometimes, when I am feeling particularly down, I put on the mask of a smile to cover the darkness. The simple task of getting out of bed can feel a lot more bothersome than it actually is. When the days feel solely cloudy for solely me, I find myself pushing others away only too easily. I personally do this because I find it easier to attempt at forgetting about what is bringing me down and I don't want to bother anyone else with my problems (though it usually does just the opposite). Getting through my problems and ignoring them are two completely separate things. Everyone has their bad days. It's okay to not be okay and talk to somebody about it (if you need to...oh! There I go again!). On my worst days, I will try to be better at using three coping skills, particularly being social, using coping skills, and letting myself feel. I need to know that I am not a burden, even when I feel like one. Remember that people are always there caring about me, I am here for a reason, and the world would not be the same without me (even when I feel just like the muddy scum on someone's dirty boot).  

4) Speak kindly to yourself. Please think about it (with me...please): do you speak kindly to others, but the thoughts that you have about yourself are often not as kind? Everyone thinks around 60,000-80,000 thoughts a day. Sadly, for many, those thoughts happen to be negative, especially the ones that we have about ourselves. There are many reasons for this fact, such as the mind's built-in negativity bias, as well as cultural and family conditioning. One of the more empowering things we can do is to reject this bias by choosing and thinking more loving thoughts on purpose. Initially, gaining this awareness of negative default thoughts and working to change them is a great first step. For 5-10 minutes a day, I plan to just write down everything that I am thinking, just get them somewhere where I can look at them later and decide if those thoughts are helping me or not. Next, I'll choose one thought each day and I'll practice thinking it on purpose. I'll make sure it is a positive, uplifting thought for my own good and I'll try to post it in as many places as I can, so it easily becomes regular. Changing default thinking takes time and patience but it is also one of the most life-changing practices that I can do. Everyone learns to treat ourselves as kindly as we treat others. Kindness, compassion, and empathy are needed now more than ever. 

5) Send flowers to a friend going through a hard time. 

This goal is taking that bit of initiative that at times, is very hard for someone (i.e. me!) to take. That is why it is a goal. No one ever said that goals were easy. Or rather, no one honestly ever said that goals were easy (then they wouldn't be goals). (Goals: the object of someone's ambition or effort; an aim or desired result.) I plan to possibly do this as my monthly ministering for July. I usually send a little card to my sisters, but always feel like I can do more so this month, I am by sending each of them some flowers! Not to bore anyone, I plan to keep it short, simple, and on point. I think that it would be much better for my action to be forgotten than that it be remembered for how awkward it was. If anyone reading this out there happens to be a florist or just a person with suggestions, I would love to hear them. You can reply to this in any way that you desire--I need help in finding something that feels both right for July, and right to me. I don't really want to add the note that simply says "Thinking of You" unless that would be well...(I have really bad handwriting if that makes a good excuse as to why not to) I need some help here. I have ministered several times before, I don't know how to do it or how I should do it with flowers.